Our strength is often composed
of the weaknesses we’re dammed if we’re going to show.
– Mignon McLaughlin
I’ve wanted to be a published author since I was a small child, I started a journal in junior high school because I wanted to one day be able to go back and write my adult feelings about certain situations and compare them to my youthful expressions. I wanted to show people that even though we struggle in our lives, sometimes over very difficult issues that we can succeed and find fulfillment. I’ve always known that there was a beautiful future waiting for me.
This website as an artistic and cathartic way to process things I have dealt with in the past as well as ongoing or new things. One close friend said that I needed to remember to have fun with this project, and not to worry if it was “perfect”, not to hold it up for approval, just to remember to do this thing for me.
It’s hard for me to act in ways that aren’t motivated to achieve some form of approval. When I was small and asked for things, or did things that seemed harmless, I was often told that I was being selfish. Well children are selfish, they aren’t malicious, they just understand about taking care of the self. I took this word “selfish” to mean that I was a bad person for wanting for myself.
Today I want something so badly that I am without care if I seem selfish in my wanting. I want joy and I will fight for it with everything I am.